I might be happier without having to think about these

I've published this entry, reverted it to draft, tried to blog about something lighthearted, and now I'm posting part of the original entry again.

I’m just not feeling the adrenaline rush or acceleration of heart beat whenever I meet him or get his texts. What is wrong with me... Am I expecting too much? To want to feel like how I did with my previous crushes?

I’m really scared that my idea of love is unrealistic and that this is what normal relationships are like. I’ve read so many articles online saying that love is a choice to commit, not so much of feeling, that it’s perfectly normal to not feel in love all the time blablabla but I’m still extremely unsure about this whole thing.

I need to get this sorted out before I deprive us of a chance, waste too much of his efforts, before I ruin the friendship.